Nissue #19: Nagendra Nadaraja, Retired Surgeon, My Dad.
I once read an aphorism from the author Austin O’Malley that goes something like, “The worst misfortune that can happen to an ordinary man is to have an extraordinary father.” I often joke that I avoided trying to go to medical school since I didn’t want to have to live up to my dad’s reputation as a surgeon.
The thing is my Dad never once questioned my personal and professional motives and aspirations, and he (and Mom) just let me succeed and fail at my own pace, with a little help and encouragement as needed.
He’s no longer presiding over the Emergency Room, but he’s still the chief “operating” officer of our extended family. I didn’t know how he would react to answering these crazy Proust-like questions but see for yourself. O’Malley, in the end, was wrong.
Nish: What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Dad: Having happy people around. When patients and their families say thank you, even when the outcome may not be the expected one.
Nish: What was your worst job ever?
Dad: I can’t think of the worst job because I always did what I enjoyed, namely helping people overcome illness.
Nish: What was your first job ever?
Dad: Starting internship in pediatric medicine on graduation from medical school. We didn’t have newspaper routes or anything like that in Sri Lanka.
Nish: What was your best job ever?
Dad: There have been many moments, but the most important ones revolve around the operating room.
Nish: What is the trait you deplore in yourself?
Dad: Fear of my shortcomings.
Nish: What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Dad: Selfishness.
Nish: What’s some advice you’d give to yourself at 23?
Dad: Set your goals and work hard to achieve them. Never give up.
Nish: What is your greatest extravagance?
Dad: Buying Legos and unlimited books for my grandchild.
Nish: You have dinner reservations for 4 at a fancy restaurant, excluding family and close friends, who are the 3 people (alive, dead, or imaginary) you’d invite?
Dad: Gandhi, Einstein, and the Dalai Lama.
Nish: What is the theme song of your professional life?
Dad: I have two: The Sound of Music’s Do-Re-Mi (“Let's start at the very beginning”), and What A Wonderful World by the great Louis Armstrong.
Nish: What is your motto?
Dad: Reach for Excellence. My past surgical residents would say it was, “Go Go Go!"
Nish: What is something you’re really excited about right now?
Dad: Putting on paper my life experiences as a surgeon for my grandchild and others to read.
Nish, I really enjoyed reading this. I came across it after fondly remembering your dad while I was at work the other day, and wondering how he is. I worked with him as a brand new nurse on a medical/surgical unit, and he influenced me tremendously. I loved learning from him, listening to him, and laughing with him. He was a tremendous presence on the unit, and I loved caring for his patients. I tried desperately to live up to his expectations because he made me want to be perfect. There was nothing more satisfying than his smile and nod of approval. I'm so grateful to have known him, especially during the first years of my nursing career. Please pass this along to him if you could, and wish him the best!
-Lindsay
Nish, your Dad was a mentor of mine, and he is fantastic. He had my back always, and I scrubbed for him in the OR for over 5 years. I have never learned as much as I did from him, and we were friends as much as an amazing surgeon and a new surgical technologist can be. Please pass on my best wishes and love to your Dad.